The empty spoils of a boy in Love
by Deploringly
Summary: A golden boy not so golden. Of a love that is always one-sided, & one that is not.                       one-shot.


_If there's anything to say_

_If there's anything to do_

_If there's any other way_

_I'll do anything for you_

_._

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He comes back. Shackled, and beaten. Dragged into Baa-chan's office by ANBU. His face is unreadable, and covered by his bangs. And all he says is,

"I killed him."

And there is no emotion in that voice, once so familiar, and presently anything but.

Then they drag him off to an awaiting cell somewhere. Somewhere deep where we cannot reach.

And it is her face I notice the most. Her face that, years ago, _glowed_. That would effortlessly break into a smile. Her face that would tilt cutely to the side when someone asked her a question, and growl at me whenever I asked for too much ramen. The face that would look at me, _at me_, without frowning in disdain or walking away. That would giggle & smile & roll her eyes & pout at me. at me. _at me._

A face that faded the day _he _left.

It was _that face_ that I noticed most the moment of his reappearance. Only now, for the first time since _he_ left I saw her face containing any trace of true emotion. Not the fake smiles she would plaster onto her delicate face, or the constant and _false false false_ assurances that she was _okay_.

But now, her sea-foam green eyes were wide like a deer caught in headlights, and her full lips were parted into a small o.

.

It was then that I realized I would _never _be enough.

.

So I grinned and shouted, "_Teme's back!_"

Things shortly went back to normal after that, or as close to normal as they ever would be. The only punishment Sasuke received was the temporary strip of rank, and constant ANBU surveillance.

_She _let him back in easily of course. Although removing the much accustomed to suffix and never treating him as anything other than a friend, her adoration was still clearly visible beneath it.

_Beating like a pulse beneath the soft layers of her skin._

It would always remain it seemed.

_And every smile made me shudder._

But of course _Sasuke _was no different. Treating her like a nuisance, but whenever she turned around his eyes were fixated with the back of her head.

It was in those moments that I hated him. Hated him for being such a _coward_. Too afraid to reach for her, and too selfish to pull back.

_How could she love him?_

The days passed in much of the same fashion. Disappointed sighs on her part and secret glances on his. I laughed largely at the irony of it all, fulfilling my part of the stupidly cheerful fool perfectly.

One day as the skies were weeping _ (likemyheart_) I found a feeling of dread settling deep within my stomach. Immediately I threw open the door of my crumbling (_likemyheart_) apartment and ran outside.

It was cold. _likemyheart. likemyheart. likemyheart._

_Where was she?_

I whipped my head to the right, then the left. Still no sign of her.

Pushing aside my feelings of worry and fear I focused on sifting through the many chakra sources throughout the village until I focused on one in particular. It was near the Gates.

_Would she leave me too?_

I flew as fast as my feet would allow me. The dull gray of the sky blurred past me as I jumped rooftop to rooftop. Nothing mattered. Nothing _mattered_ if she wasn't here with me.

To smack me upside of the head after making a pointedly perverse comment, or shout violent threats and tell me how much of an _idiot _I was.

Suddenly I found myself in front of a bench.

"Sakura-chan?" I breathe, afraid to break the head of pale pink hair hunched over in front of me.

"…Naruto." She whispers without raising her head. She chuckles humorlessly and mumbles a soft _Who else?_

My fist clenches, knowing she expected—_hoped for_ someone I could never be.

"What happened?" I ask carefully and sit down beside her.

"I told him." She whispers, still not looking at me.

"Told him what?" I push, but already fearing her answer.

"That I _love _him." She says hopelessly, her voice cracking in the middle.

I don't know what to say, and opt for scratching my hair instead. I'm no good in situations like this.

Screw that, I'm just no good.

Abruptly she stands up, "I can't take this anymore."

She starts walking toward the gates and I stand up so fast I hardly remember moving.

_Don't leave._

"SAKURA!" I scream, and breathe a sigh of relief when I notice her falter.

She turns around, now soaked to the bone, and still not looking at me.

"I just—I can't stay here any longer." Her hands shake, and a sob interrupts her sentence.

And looking at her _palebrokenhelpless_ form in front of me I decide I might as well.

"_I love you._"

She gasps and finally _finally_ looks at me. Her eyes are filled with unshed tears, and more are already running down her soft cheeks. And then she smiles, heartbreakingly lovely and real.

I hold my breath, is this it? Had she been waiting for me all along? Was I truly good enough?

"Naruto," She laughs a shaky laugh, "You're too nice for your own good."

My chest constricts so tightly my breath whooshes out from me all at once.

"_No!" _I shake my head furiously, "Sakura-chan…I mean it." I whisper, realizing that I mean so little to her that the prospect of me being serious doesn't even strike her.

And how is it that she can not believe me when I tell her the only truth I believe in anymore? In a world that is fading, worn to the chip of an over-used kunai, where spilling blood has become the norm, and my glorified idealisms are so quickly slipping from the webs of my scarred hands?

I have loved you since I was a boy, before I knew what it meant to see the innocent little girl who made up my entire life look at another with eyes full of mindless adoration.

Since before I discovered the ability to be robbed of breath, not because of a blow, but because you were _laughing_. With _him_.

And I'm too lost in jagged memories to realize she's already begun walking away from me.

"SAKURA!" I yell, "Stay. _Sakura _stay_—I'll do anything."_

I see her hands twitch and I wonder if she feels the déjà vu all over again. How this happened so many years ago, except the roles had been reversed. It had been her in _my _shoes.

_It seems I've stolen your part._

"Naruto I—" She starts and then her eyes go wide and I recognize a third chakra signature in our company.

And before I know it _he_ rushes over to her so fast it's a blur. I can't see his face but I can see hers, and I know she won't leave; wouldn't leave _him_.

_Not like she'd leave me. _

And part of me feels relieved as she lets him guide her away from the gates and towards me, but the part that doesn't is breaking.

_He_ looks at me with blank eyes, and why is it I feel so guilty? And then I notice her smiling through her tears with his arm draped over her.

Oh yes, because she always belonged to him.  
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A year later her belly is large and swelled, and she radiates happiness. Her husband is attached to her hip, and smirking. No doubt he is proud that his wife is so fertile, and at the prospect of their soon-to-be baby.

I can imagine him rubbing her belly and telling their fetus legends of the Uchiha clan, a clan he will soon be a part of. And the baby will be beautiful and round and happy and perfect. It is a tangible, living proof of their love, and I will have to look at it every day of my life.

_And I can only _wish _it were mine._

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**A/N: Disclaimer: I once again disclaim. /Happy birthday Naruto...Happy birthday/**

**By the ways, sorry if it's kinda here & there, but I was hastening to get this up before midnight. so yeaa. **

**Reviews really do make me smile. **


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